For whom the bell tolls...

... Doesn't quite remind you of wedding bells, does it? So if I were to refer to wedding bells what sort of sound effect should I use? Rings? No, that is a door bell. Chimes? No, that is a clock. A lot of my acquaintances have been getting married lately and questions about my own views, opinions, readiness on/for marriage have been brought up lately. This got me thinking on the subject...

Being an Indian, I pretty much have only two options available to me. First of a love marriage. You ask, "Wait a minute, are not all marriages an expression of love for each other." Hold that thought until the next section. So an Indian love marriage proceeds somewhat in this fashion. Boy meets girl (refer to the bollywood article for romance tips), within six months boy and/or girl decide(s) they should get married (yes, this is a hard time limit; no extensions allowed) and seek parent's approval. Possible outcomes:

1. Girl's parents arrange her wedding elsewhere (see next section), guy (a) becomes Devdas, (b) he moves on to the next girl and the cycle repeats until a he encounters a successful exit condition, (c) settles for arranged marriage.

2. Being the open minded society that India is today, the parents approve of their wedding and the couple gets married at the earliest date when they can mutually take time off their jobs and, if necessary, get cheap flight tickets to India.

Alternately, I can go in for an arranged marriage. If I had to explain the concept to someone unfamiliar with it, it would go somewhat like this:

Me: So I am getting married.
(S)he: *surprise* Oh! I did not know you were dating. So you finally asked her eh?
Me: No, it is an arranged marriage, sort of Indian style.
(S)he: The marriages are arranged here too.
Me: Huh?
(S)he: It takes about a six months to a year long planning. People hire wedding planners. Everything has to be perfect, the cake, the dress, the bridesmaid's dress, the floral arrangements, the guests. And heaven save the groom if it rains that day.
Me: Oh no. I mean arranged as in my parents found the girl.
(S)he: Just as I suspected. So your parents set you up with this girl huh?
Me: Well, not really. My parents talked over with the girls parents and they decided we should get married.
(S)he: What about you? Do you like the girl?
Me: Yeah, I talked to her once. She seemed nice.

Given my anti-social tendencies, I assume arranged marriage is the only way I am ever going to get hitched. Although in this present day and age, arranged marriages are just another way of meeting and knowing your potential soulmates. I guess people are prejudiced and tend to get a bit defensive when interacting with the person (with whom you are being set up with) which breaks many a match. Probably, if you were meeting in a more normal situation, like at a friend's party, you both might have hit it off eventually. I suppose if we are more open minded about it, it might actually work? Yeah right! That would amount to accepting that our parents mean well and are not out to ruin our lives. If there is anything that unites all of human race, regardless of race, creed, religion, age etc., it is our belief that our parents are old fashioned people who are out to ruin our lives and that our children are reckless youths misusing their freedom. For example, there was a time when Beethoven's music was (I am taking a wild guess here) considered radical. Later on when rock music came into the scene, people thought Beethoven was soothing. Then with today's music we feel that Led Zeppelin is classic rock. Some 50 years hence, people might find Britney Spears... hmmm... I guess we just stumbled upon the reason why extinction of human race is an inevitable thing.

But one thing that really scares me about this whole marriage issue is that... You ask, "you mean more than dreading the fact that during the 'getting to know each other phase' the girl asks you, 'what do you expect out of marriage?' and you answer, 'Sex, of course. Oh Wait! Was that a trick question?'" (Don't worry. I am lost in the maze of quote marks too. Should there be a question mark at the end?) Yes, more than that. And it is the fact that most of the people I know share logins/passwords with their significant others! What if she logs into your account and changes the background? Or worse still, modifies the keyboard shortcuts? What about this situation? Your friend marries someone. You are not particularly friendly with your friend's spouse. What are your feelings regarding your friend's spouse reading your email intended for your friend? I can never seem to wrap my mind around this issue of sharing passwords.

So I ask you once again, the title, it does remind you of wedding bells, doesn't it? /usr/bin/fortune: Is a wedding successful if it comes off without a hitch?