Tuesday, August 16, 2005

War on words...

I am not entirely sure if I should say war on words or at war with words. What I mean is that I have decided to wage a war against certain words.

Now why would you want to wage a war against words? Do you have any good reasons for it?

Oh, so now we need reasons to wage a war? Whatever happened to freedom and stuff like that? Anyway, I digress.

That is nothing new.

Riiight... as I was saying, I have decided that I will wage a war against certain words.

Any word in particular?

The word cute comes to mind immediately.

Of course, it is not as if I woke up this morning (nothing fine about it I must confess, it is dull and cloudy and looks like it is going to rain) and decided that I launch an offensive against what would seem to be harmless words. I have strong opinions on the usage of certain words. Many of you (more accurately, the three of you who read my blog) would remember my diatribe against the word awesome a while ago. I have been averse to the word cute used in any phrase or sentence for as long as I can remember. What irks me is the word is almost always used in situations where you feel like puking. For example, Awwww... that is so cute. Or worse, that is cho chweet. To me, there is very little difference between the sound of that sentence and the sound of a chalkpiece screeching on a blackboard.

But surely you must agree that there are situations which can only be expressed by using the word "cute".

Yes, I agree. However, according to me, the only legitimate use of the word cute is to describe baby elephants, as in the sentence... baby elephants are cute. Go on, imagine it. You cannot stop thinking about those calves running around, (not at all like the sober, dignified gait of the fully grown elephants) with their big ears flapping around and their trunks (only as long as their tails) stretched out (as are their tails), and in between the legs of the adult elephants now, can you?

Is it just the baby elephants? Why not puppies, kittens etc.? They are cute too, aren't they?

No, allowing the use of the word cute in those situations opens up the word for more abuse, exactly the kind that I am trying to squelch out. For example, people will use the word "cute as a puppy" or "cute as a kitten" even for situations where there is no puppies or kittens invovled. However, think about it, you can never use cute and baby elephant in one sentence unless you are talking about how cute the baby elephants are. If you dream of any success in your relationship pursuits then never ever compare the object of thine admiration to a baby elephants. As romantic as it may sound to you, believe me, the girls never seem to appreciate the "cute as a baby elephant" comparison. I am speaking from experience here so trust me on this one. Thus, the phrase "cute as a baby elephant" is never going to be abused (anyone who abuses it will face the wrath of the fairer sex and very rightly so), leaving but one legitimate choice for that combination... to describe baby elephants, which was my original point.

Don't you think you are overreacting? After all it is not the word's fault that it is being abused.

I am not entirely sure if I should pick the guns don't kill people, people kill people or the hate the sin, not the sinner stance here. Sure the word itself has legitimate uses, but people tend to abuse it. But does the word exist without its meaning? If not, then the very fact that it conveys a certain meaning/expression is what makes it a word... and, therefore, makes it abusable?

I have no idea what you just said there, but I believe that is no reason to wage a war on words.

Don't worry, I don't understand it fully either. That is why I am following the age old adage There is no problem that is so big that cannot be solved by a liberal amount of explosives. So just nuke the word out of existence and, hopefully, the problem will go away too.

You said "war on words..." and so far you only talked about cute. What are the other words?

Honey, sweetheart... phrases like... I can't live without you...

4 comments:

Maccanena said...

Not sweetheart! Are you telling me your waring on "dear" too?
I'm betting you'll start a cease fire, or maybe even an armistice, the next time a beautiful dark-haired lady whispers "honey" in your ear. Believe me!

Florist said...

How did you know my weakness for "beautiful dark-haired ladies"? ;)

Anonymous said...

So really, it's a war on love and affection and other people having relationships; cynicism will triumph, eh? And if you don't think puppies and kittens are cute, you are a cold-hearted man indeed.

Kate

Maccanena said...

So, did you reach a truce yet? ;)